It has been very interesting this week having my eyes opened to new ideas and being able to see the topic of homosexuality in a new light. I hope you can also have your eyes opened to this topic and be able to see the evidence behind all of the ideas presented. I think this is a very interesting topic and can be sensitive to many people. As I learned more about homosexuality I learned that gay men have very high rates of depression and loneliness. My theory for this, just like most of the public, was that gay people were just sort of outcasts in the eyes of society and that would be the leading cause of their depression. As I learned a little more about this topic I came to realize that statistics show most gay men struggle with having a good, supportive father figure in their life. Many of these men were molested, abused, and belittled while growing up. If you think about people you may know who are gay, think about at what stage they decided that they were gay. On average kids are developing a lot during the ages of 5, 8, 13, and 15 years old. Most boys during this age are also going through a lot of change, not including the abuse and depression that may be going on from a home situation. Boys are in school and trying to fit in. What happens if they don't fit in with the guys or they may be a little more compassionate or tender compared to a manly man? They are made fun of or cast out. They tend to get along with the girls better while having an inner struggle and desire to be accepted by the boys. Think about how you feel when someone who you feel is out of your league or above you in a social class. How do you feel when they finally talk to you or acknowledge you? For me, I feel excited and surprised. Just like my reaction to someone unexpectedly talking to me that I thought didn't even know I existed, these gay boys growing up can have a similar experience with the boys who did not accept them in the first place. So, if you look t this boy who has no guy friends or interactions, no good male role models in their life and a male acknowledges them for the first time, I would be excited too and want more of those interactions. This often times leads to a fulfillment that that boy needs through another male interacting with him. This idea soon turns into seeking for that fulfillment. I mean I understand what is going on in the boys head, but sadly he does not. He doesn't realize that the underlying issue is that he is seeking for a good relationship with a male, not necessarily a sexual relationship but a male in his life that cares about him and respects him because he's never had that in his life. To me, this concept was very eye-opening. I can take a look around me and think of the gay men that I know and see how their upbringing was very similar to this example and how this just demonstrates that they didn't necessarily choose this life but they did because of other issues. I just think this is an important topic that may be awkward for some but is definitely that needs to be discussed more so boys growing up in this way can receive some help and not have to turn to this lifestyle because of other issues deep down. Statistics show that most gay men still have depression. Having sexual interactions aren't helping the situation but are more of a temporary fix for what's really going on. Please become informed so that we can help inform those struggling with this and help them fix what's really going on so that they can find real happiness an not just seek their whole lives for something that can't be there without some mental help.
I understand what you are trying to say. I do think you have made some leaps and generalizations that do not apply across the board. As I thought of the handful of gay men that I know/know of/know the family in some way, your theory does not apply to three of the four. And that is such a small sample. Three come from solid families. Three are LDS and served missions. One father was a bishop, one father a stake high councilman. All three LDS are no longer active in church. Two of their families are still active, one is no longer active. The one non LDS man has been together with his partner for going on 10 years. His parents are still married and have been for over 50 years. I think we need to look at other factors besides father figure influence.
ReplyDeleteJust my comment to make you think some more. 😊
I find many things wrong with this perception, to be gay is not a choice people are born gay. Generalizing that most gay men are abused or have a poor relationship with their male role models is a lame excuse for people to not admit that they are homophobic. Gay men are depressed and have anxiety because they are living in a society that oppresses them and does not allow them to display their emotions without fear of being harassed. Imagine not being able to hold your husbands hand in public in fear of being harassed, that type of behavior would send anyone into a depressive state. It is really sad that we live in a world where these false perceptions are being spread by people not even associated with the community.
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DeleteI appreciate your comment. I like to know how people actually feel and try and see things from different perspectives. My questions is then, Why are there so many studies and evidence showing that gay people were abused as children and how that has effected them as children and throughout adulthood? Also, if you look at the key developmental ages in children you can see the ages where their brain is changing and developing and how that can play a significant role, mentally with their decision making. If you read my first post about what to look for when analyzing research you can know what studies are actually worth while due to sample size, how they select their participants and many other factors. I can post some of those studies about gay men if that would be helpful or insightful? I love gay people and am in no way trying to go against them, but simply trying to understand them, what they go through and understand what may be affecting them on a deeper level that they may not even recognize for themselves, at first.
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