Sexual intimacy is something often avoided or not talked about by adults but maybe sometimes discussed too much by teens and younger children. I want to talk about things that aren't normally discussed and how understanding your own desires and body can help you have a more fulfilling marriage and relationship as well as help your children understand what sexual intimacy is and how to approach talking about it with them.
First off, I want to help you understand how to be comfortable in intimacy. One big part about being comfortable is knowing how to communicate and what to communicate to your partner. This starts with trusting them, loving them, being committed to them, practicing over and over and your willingness to be open and honest with them. Communication can work miracles when it comes to sexual intimacy. Your partner may not even know what you like or what feels good to you and at that moment you need to communicate that to them. Things can naturally become more or less sensitive in different moments and one thing that worked or that you liked before may not work in a different moment. This is why you need to communicate. The male and female bodies are very different and require different approaches when it comes to sexual intimacy. Males tend to get aroused quicker and orgasm quicker than women and this can be a struggle for many. This is where communication comes in. You need to trust your partner and be willing to understand them and focus on them. Men and women sex drive also peak at different ages, men being at the age 18-19 years old and women being around the age 30-35 years old. This can either be difficult or it can be a blessing. This vast age range can help rekindle the fire in later years and also keep things going a lot longer. Also, after men are satisfied it will usually be 2-3 days and then the drive will go up whereas, with women, they will usually be more aroused right before their period. This can cause some issues just like the other things if the male feels like the wife may not want him for other reasons when in reality her hormones and body just says otherwise. It is nothing personal. After sexual intimacy, a male is typically tired and just wants to eat or fall asleep whereas women want to cuddle and be close. This can be hard and the women may feel as though the man just got what he wanted and is done with her. Again, this is just something the body naturally does and he isn't trying to ignore the women. It will take some work to communicate what works best and how you feel so that everyone is satisfied and validated. Also, if the women are stressed or thinking about other things or things she needs to get done, she will most likely not be easily aroused and when a man is stressed or has a lot on his plate he will be easily aroused and will want to be satisfied to relieve that stress. So keep that in mind when you are trying to help your spouse. Just remmeber that having good sex is not natural and is actually quite rare unless practiced and communicated very thoroughly and thoughtfully.
So, as we understand more about our own sexual intimacy with our spouse you can better help your children learn about it in the right way. You can help them know how to communicate with you as parents and then later on with their spouses. You can help them understand how it will be a learning experience and how it is something very beautiful to be shared as husband and wife. Obviously teach age appropriate things to your children but it should start around the age 6 or 7 if not even sooner than that these days. Start simple when they are toddlers but if they ask questions be willing and prepared to respond. Don't rely on schools, teachers, or other kids to teach your children about these sacred things. It is important that they have the right outlook and perspective when it comes to such a delicate thing.
