What does it mean to date? Is it "hanging out"? Is it getting together with friends? What is dating? The definition of dating is defined by Wikipedia as, "a stage of romantic relationships in humans whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship or marriage. It is a form of courtship, consisting of social activities done by the couple, either alone or with others. Going on a friend date or calling other things dates that are not an interest in a romantic relationship should not be called dates. This is where we are going wrong. Just like the definition of gender has changed the word date has changed and now means so many different things. How are we to know what to expect when asked on a date? What does that truly mean? We as a society and as humans have the choice to choose to perpetuate the culture of dating as we know it or to change it. We have the choice, but we do not get to choose the consequences. Why do we keep repeating and retrying the same dating tactics which come naturally to us and expect different results? I feel as though we see this, especially in the Latter-Day Saint culture. There is so much evidence behind going on actual dates and dating multiple people and what that can do for our future relationships opposed to dating someone steadily right away or just hanging out with groups or people. We see in so many other cultures how this has gone wrong and we go and do the same thing. Why are we so afraid to be different and do things that will actually help us and the people we interact in? If we don't build relationships while dating how do you expect to build a relationship while being engaged or married. Building a relationship prior to marriage is key. Making decisions together and communication is everything. That is marriage.
So how do we change our thinking? First, let's talk about some of the things holding us back. Some excuses I've heard from not wanting to go on actually planned dates is because it costs too much money, takes a lot of effort, you have to be super outgoing, people want to focus on their education, there may not be a whole lot of opportunities to date, there is a negative connotation with going on dates with lots of different people (may be seen as a player), or maybe there are too many options. These are just a few things that can hold us back from dating. There are so many ways around all of there though. Dating doesn't have to cost a ton of money. Get creative. The date will mean more to the other person in the end because it won't be your typical date. Be willing to put yourself out there. Be vulnerable, it will show the other person that you trust them and that you honestly want to get to know them and be yourselves. Don't be afraid to be different. Go on a date where you laugh and have fun, where you get to see who the other person actually is and how they act in certain situations. That's what dating is all about. This will help you prepare for marriage so much because like I said before that is what marriage is all about, making decisions together. If you never get to see the person you are interested in have to make a real decision then you are not helping yourself or your future relationship. The same mindset can be used for courtship and marriage as well. Get creative, have fun and make lots of decisions together. This will help you grow closer and learn more about each other while having fun. So what is dating going to mean to you?
