Communication is Key

Communication can be very confusing. Do you sometimes feel like you are operating a walk-in talkie that is on a different channel than the person you are trying to communicate with? I definitely feel like this sometimes. Are we expecting the person we are talking to “get the hint” about what we are saying or the reasoning behind asking them what we asked them? I am guilty of this as well. Communication is so important because even if we encode what we are saying in a different “language” that we think the person will hopefully understand, doesn’t always mean that the other person will decode the message how we expected or wanted them to. Communication is important for understanding and knowing expectations. There are 5 key steps to communication that I want to share. The first step is the disarming technique. This is when you find the kernel of truth in what someone says when you have a disagreement. It may be hard at times but if you find one simple little truth in what the other person is saying then they will feel validated, their guard will go down and it will also help yourself be humble and willing to listen to why they feel the way they do. The second step is to express empathy in thought and feeling/emotion. It is good to decode and encode back to the person breaking down what you understood from how they are feeling and what they said to clarify. The third step is to inquire. Talk more with that person to further clarify and to ask them if you understood them correctly and explain why you may have been wrong. It shows them that you care, you want to speak and hear the truth, and that you are willing to listen and understand them. People often repeat things h til they are convinced you to hear them and got what they were saying. The fourth step is to explain a moment in the argument starting with the when (situation, event), I feel (emotions), because (thoughts), and I would like (share hope). If you fill in these blanks then the person can fully understand why you are feeling the way you are and how they can help the situation. The last step is to express genuine, authentic, admiration and appreciation. Make sure you are avoiding any forms of corrupt communication such as sarcasm, being passive aggressive, giving the silent treatment, or anything gag is impure or not the real deal. Talk about things and help clarify. Communication is not a bad thing and can solve a lot of your problems. I hope these 5 steps can help improve your communication with everyone around you.